Monday, November 15, 2010

Parenting 101

Somehow I made it home without this booklet?
But even had I received this booklet I am not sure how such booklet would help.
Having 5 children I can assure you not one thing  works for all.
So with each departure from the hospital I should have received a new version.

Our kids are amazing little creatures.

They come to us without any expectations
It is up to us as parents to teach them how to expect certain things
We bring these sweet little armful of joys home with us
Then it hits you -
Oh my - they shit & it really stinks
it is my job to clean that mess up

My kids are now older.
I have completed my days of poopy duty.
Now it is figuring out how to continue being their parent
and not encourage those things that we really think is very funny
know they really shouldn't do.

I mean really that is funny right?
Oh wait - no police officer I had no idea he was doing that!
He said I told him to?
No really I told him he would get in trouble
then I snickered and said-
But it is funny!

Not only do we as parents have to read their minds & see with that so called eye we have in the back of our heads
We have to figure out how to explain why your a boy & she is a girl.
Oh & word to the wise-
If you are going to teach your son to pee while standing & decide taking outdoors so he won't sprinkle everywhere
that is what he will do for the rest of his life.
THIS is why men pee off the back porch.
Not because they are just a bunch of hillbillies-
But because us mothers didn't want to clean the sprinkle up everyday.

Then after you teach them why boys are boys & girls are girls-
They want to know more

Sure its all gross at first
Then one day you are fetching your daughter from her boyfriends house.
Or your other daughter is asking you what an orgasm is-
ONLY after she already asked some random teacher at school because her older brother found this to be a good idea & encouraged her to ask!

Where do you go from there?
Oh yea thats right -
then you have grandbabies!

Tee hee - don't tell my kids - but I shall encourage my grandkids to give their parents HELL! 

1 comment:

  1. Hehe - You're kids are awesome, despite being encouraged to do the things that are funny - even though probably not appropriate! I miss you guys!