Friday, January 21, 2011

I am not a fighter but I am tough ...

I do not believe myself to be a figther.  A shit stirrer.  A constantly mad person.

I see happy days most days.  I have a lot of things that make me smile.  I love smiling & seeing the great in things.

BUT  do not piss me off.  I put just as much heat & soul into things that truly piss me off as I do in my happy life.   The whole fighter in my becomes all that I am in a split second.  And I will get my ass kicked making my point if I feel strong enough about something.

What exactly has me thinking about this?  My kids.  My kids dreams.  My kids feelings.  Protecting my kids.

I could careless who or what my ex husband does.  AS LONG as it does not hurt my kids.  But it seems most of what he does does just that ... hurts my kids.  I can't imagine sitting next to the man I love & hearing him call my child a bitch & then defending him for it.  I can't imagine letting my child decide that they are mad at me & not come to see me but me not fight for her to.  I can't imagine living with a person that sits in my childs face & laughs when she has a seizure.  I can't imagine being with a person who is fully responsible for crushing the dream that my child has had since I can remember with their stupid words.  I just can't imagine hurting my kids like this.  And I just can't imagine as their mother that loves them with every ounce of my soul not wanting to fight for them.  Beat the persons ass that put those words out there that have hurt my children. 

So no ... I am not a fighter ... But I am tough ... And most of all I am a mother that truly loves her children.

So just don't.

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